Over The Hump (I Hope)

So, where do I begin.....how about somewhere around the end of July, which is when I last posted something and checked my email. I hope nobody takes my lack of correspondence personally, but things really get to me at times and need to focus in a very narrow view to keep my sanity. I do not understand the workings of all of the drugs and my brain, but living on the edge of the abyss, living life in two week blocks between treatments, wondering if after all of the hard work by the doctors, the hundreds of prayers, and, of course the awesome support of the Brotherhood, family, friends, and complete strangers I make the five year survival marker. There have been many days where I simply want to sit with the wife and kids and do stuff and put the cancer thing on the back burner. Things must be going good, however, as I find myself complaining about relatively petty things, things that were of no consequence when my condition was poor. Of course it is the human spirit, I would guess, that when things go in a good direction, one tends to forget his previous position and simply wants more. In my case the focus is so intensely forward that I forget only six months ago I was laying in the hospital bed thinking I would be incapacitated or dead by now based on the original and erroneous first diagnosis and now I get mad because I still can not get up on a regular basis and go to work. But, that is probably what keeps us all goings strong...give me a little and I want more...a lot more (kind of like my kids at the mall). In this case, it is not being stingy, it is survival. So the frustration of sitting on the sidelines while everybody else works and lives relatively normal lives seems like a good thing to me. I see a lot of very sad faces of people around here that must have gone through a hell of a lot more than me, and they appear so overwhelmed that fussing about not going to work is the last thing on their minds. I am glad and thankful my condition appears as good as it does right now. It has been over six weeks since the last chemo and my hair has started to grow as well as other impaired functions have started to resume so I am ready to blast through the next four cycles and put this whole experience behind me. I just read an email from one of my friends from high school who had a brain tumor discovered last spring. I stopped fussing to myself about the taste of Mesna and missing my family after finishing his email. Anyway, what have I been doing for the last two months? It is funny you ask. (sorry about the clunky writing, I seem to have lost the ability to spew free flowing ideas and thoughts in a clear and organized fashion).

Well, the last round of chemo came and went much easier than the previous round in that I did not experience the confusion or the semi-consious feeling that had followed the earlier round. The only downside was my energy level and motivation tanked for the two weeks leading up to the lung surgery. A lot of it may have been not knowing what the surgeon would find and how extensive the carving of my inerds would be during the process. We met with the surgeon, Dr. Chang, about a week before the operation and after reviewing a current CT scan, he could not determine how far, if at all, the tumor had penetrated my chest wall. He said the surgery could be as simple as three small holes or as extensive as permanently removing two ribs should the tumor have made it through the wall and into the muscle. For those with sharp memories, this is not the Dr. Chang that performed the original operation on the intestines, but a thorasic surgeon who rules the roost of his department (my words, not his).

Keeping the doctors names straight around here can be challenging at times as to date I have had three Dr. Changs, Dr. Chugh, and a Dr. Chan for good measure. So after waiting through two of the longest weeks of my life (I have had a few of those since February), the big day arrived and Barb and I boarded a Wings of Mercy flight and flew south. We stayed with the Landis family Sunday through Tuesday nights during which time I went through the usual pre-surgery fun and games. The worst had to be the PET scan, the one that highlights any cancerous areas, known or unknown. Fortunately for me everything came up clean except for the area to be removed that Wednesday. However, Wednesday morning came and I had not received the results of the PET scan and went wheeling into surgery right on schedule.

As with the previous surgery, I remember everything including the pre-surgery area, getting wheeled into the operating room, having the mask placed on my face, and oops the next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room. The first thing Barb asked me was if anybody had told me the results of the PET scan, to which I replied "No", so it was good to finally hear the good news. My folks and my brother-in-law Phil were also there to join the festivities in the recovery room and oh what a sight for sore eyes as I was just glad to be alive and awake. Shortly thereafter I came to realize that I still had all of my ribs so things seemed to have gone well. Later Dr. Chang explained that the tumor had made it through the inner lining wall, but he was able to get enough of a margin to save my ribs. In all, he removed the upper lobe of my right lung as well as a wedge-shaped portion of the next lobe due to its proximity to the tumor. I would guess that it equates to about 20 percent of my total lung capacity, so I got off easy comparitively speaking.

I was up and moving around within a day, as instructed by the doctors and nurses, even with a half-inch diameter suction hose poking through my back and up into my chest cavity. Everything seemed to be going good, so the hose was pulled on day number four, and then the xray. I was nearly out the door when the results of my chest xray indicated I had a larger than acceptable volume of fluid that was starting to collapse my right lung. Both Barb and I were disappointed to say the least, but we had expected to be there much longer so it was not that bad until, of course, they mentioned a new drain tube would be necessary. Having pulled out the half-inch tube before the xray (seems a bit out of order looking back on things), a new but smaller tube was needed so suction could be provided and excess fluid removed. Unfortunately for me, the new and improved tube had to be placed through my chest wall under my collar bone, through to the back side of my chest cavity, and then down along the wall face, into the void. Oh, but it gets better.....with a local anesthetic, a scalpel, and a whole lot of pushing and tugging. I had not had that much fun since one of my recent trips to the dentist when he replace three fillings at once, and this, by far, topped that little adventure. What the fine doctor did not tell me is once poked through all of that muscle I had built up over the years that I would feel things as she roto-rootered her way to my back and down. Well, after thirty of the most disturbing minutes of my life, her arrogant -ness marched out of the room and sent me off for one of what was to be many xrays. Three hours later, after attaining some level of comfort that the worst was over, my favorite doctor sent in the nurse to inform me that the xray indicated the tube was not in the proper location and that it had to be removed and the whole proceedure repeated a second time. When her Greatness entered the room for the second round she stated "I don't think you like me very much right now" and I immediatey agreed with her. So back down I went, only this time if felt like she added a steel bottle brush or fish hooks to the end. I thought I was going to screem (or behead the doctor) by the time she finally finished. This time there was no relaxing, as she had brushed up against a couple of nerves and from that point until it was removed a few days later it was a constant source of irritation.

OK, so I survived the tube placement and things were looking good. We were given the thumbs up for leaving on Monday, so I called Bando to set up the brotherhood aerial taxi service and fortunately he was able to once again extend the helping hand and bail us out of the area. Tim and Rachel arrived Monday afternoon and flew us at or below 2000 feet per Dr. Chang's instructions which took us on a very scenic route west to Lake Michigan and then north to our neighborhood. Unfortunately our plans to land a Sugar Loaf were spoiled by some very pesky rain clouds which make for another great story in itself, however, I will let Bando tell that one. The waves on Lake Michigan sure are pretty at two hundred feet. As it turned out Tim and Rachel were able to stick around for dinner so we were able to have an awesome dinner and do a little catching up before the had to turn around and fly back. Thank goodness for good friends.

Tuesday started with my appointment with the home nurse who was to change the bandages, however the tiny container provided at the end of my chest drain tube became overwhelmed with excess fluid. After a brief conversation with the U of M doctors, I was sent to the emergency room in Traverse City. So my second day home did not turn out to be what I had envisioned. Barb and I both needed time off from the hospital life, but that was not to be, at least for a while. Tuesday night arrived and I had not produce any fluid for several hours so I was sent home. Wednesday moring arrived complete with a repeat of the previous day....nurse arrives, container overwhelmed, call to U of M...except this time our presence was requested back in Ann Arbor. So after all of the grovel to get home, Barb packed up the mini-van while I called my sister who along with Phil, had endured the kids during my original visit for surgery. Anne and Phil had a contingency had my stay lasted the full ten-day maximum, which at this point was looking very close to reality. So Anne picked took the kids at some point, and we headed south that afternoon. I should note that Anne chose to reduce her work hours during the latter part of the summer to make herself available to help during my surgery. Between the corralling of the kids for days at a time and carrying the load at my folks house (along with Phil) when we would come over for visits, Anne and Phil really pulled things together for us and I am so greatful that they could make my problems their first priority. Nothing like family in a crisis.

Speaking of family, I should mention that Barb's folks came up from Texas and have been living in their motor home in our driveway since the beginning of June and as a result, the have made it possible for us to leave on a moments notice. They have looked after the kids, the animals, and kept my garden afloat all summer and I do not know what we would have done without them either. Her folks have really taken the family first philosophy seriously and provided untold relief during the course of the summer. As with Anne and Phil, Don and Harolyn have been priceless and provided a great deal of security knowing they are there for us. Unfortunately they will be leaving at the end of this week, but the good news is they have an offer on their house in Texas and will be moving back this spring if things go as planned!

We arrived at the hospital around 8:00 pm and went through all of the re-establishing IVs, putting on the gown, setting up the laptops, ect. and of course the beginning of the periodic xrays to establish any progress. Thursday arrived to find no fluid in the collection bin, which was somewhat perplexing for everybody, and late that afternoon they pulled the drain tube. Yes, I was very concerned because of the obvious. I did not want my favorite doctor performing her wonders on my chest again. Late in the day, the xrays indicated the space was shrinking but it was decided best to keep me overnight with the idea I would be released in the morning. You see, I had told everybody about cousin Mike's wedding on Saturday and how I was determined to make the cerimony. As a result, the doctors and nurses had all of the paperwork in order and we hit the road by 10:00 am on Friday! Freedom!

Well, I have babbled on long enough, but it suffices to say we made it to Munising Friday night after a detour through Maple City. I was (and still am) pretty beat up from the surgery but managed to find my way into a bottle of Ol' No.7 during the celebrations on Saturday. The wedding was another great family gathering and great chance to re-connect with those who we do not see very often.

On a final note, I just wanted to mention Barb. This situation has, as you can imagine, been the most difficult thing I have ever encountered. I have been as useful as a lump of coal for most of the last six months and not once has she ever complained or folded under the pressure. She has maintained the house, kept the kids going in their normal activities, and kept on top of all of the medical related issues, appointments, billings, ect. without missing a beat. I am thankful to have her as my wife and love her very much (let us see if she reads this). Until next time, family first.