Oompa Succumbs to the Power of The Bird

Posted by JJaz (via email):

I think I can speak for Oompa so here it is in a nut shell.

Had a nice lunch with Oompa that included some Whitefish, Barley, hops and a backyard bingo before arriving at Big Birds temporary nest. 15 minutes into our visit Big Bird was showing us and giving us a detailed description of his grovel and the anatomical gore that ensued. Oompa was so enthralled and shall we say “into” Birds story that he literally forgot to breathe. I look over and I can see Oompa fading to black.

Bird is in a chair and Oompa is sitting on Birds empty bed. Once I realize that Oompa is visiting Dorothy and the Tin Man, I lay him down for an unexpected nap and ran to the nurse’s station. I tell her we have a man out cold and it’s not the patient. She says “the visitor?” Yep……….

She announces a CODE BLUE over the loud speaker and within 30 seconds there is an entire huge swat team in the room. Oompa finally comes to and has to answer questions like “where are you?” “Who is the president?” “Is he black?” Shirt off and paddles out, he manages to land his twirling house on the big bad witch. He did fine with the quiz but they still rushed him down to the emergency room.

So there I was having to decide to either stay with Big Bird or follow the gurney. I apologized to Bird and I followed the gurney and about a half hour later they released Oompa on his own free will even though they had a million reasons to run a million tests. Serious Dr. peer pressure.

Oompa is fine, he just had a bit of an anxiety attack. As serious as it seemed at the time, looking back it’s all pretty damn humorous if you ask me. The look on Big Birds face when they were working on Oompa was unforgettable.

Beware of Big Birds Powers! He is a mighty Bird and he can bring you down without even laying a hand on you.

Jjaz